She is what she is
Its 5.30am still turning and flipping, eyes filled with tears. Its been barely 2 weeks i’m with Jean. Things are turning bad. I am afraid i would get hurt again. Afraid real badly.
Did something wrong to Jean last evening and got a sms from her after hanging up the phone when she was on her way home since the trains too noisy for me to make out what she was saying. A text came, I dont feel like talking to you now…
My heart collapsed. I wasnt talking senses anymore. I recieved a sms something like that 4 years ago. And i dont want to get what i had 3 years ago.
I had the feeling that i would go single soon. But i cant afford to get hurt again. Getting myself really hurt over another girl. I dont want to have great food infront of me and i dont have that appitite. That feeling totally sucked.
I just want Jean to be by my side, sitting infront of that fountain, munching pretzels and cream puffs, sipping lemonade. But i hope that it wont be a history anymore.
I felt bad that i’ve deprived my month’s budget when its only the 27th. Damn! 2 weeks to go! But am gonna try make Jean happy eventhou being broke.
Lets hope that the next post aint about a broken hearted man.
