cHeF dE sUeH wAh’S bLoG

Was out with Jean yesterday. Wasnt the most fantastic day with action and some shitty stuffs pissing me off.

Went to Alexander hospital again for my medical appoiment at 10am and was supposed to go for physcio theraphy at 2 when i was just too lazy to go. That wasnt anything nice by the way. Tourturing myself and putting my knee on an awkward position hurting really badly.

Met dear at 9.30am when we shared this packet of milo before getting on the shuttle bus getting to AH. Registered and waited for like an hour before seeing the surgeon. Damn. Was thad neverous for getting another jab. Yep. I am getting total fear in injections now, thanks to that ass who poked me 14 times.

Went for lunch at the coffee shop opposite for some sam lou horfun and fried fish beehoon(man. its crap. The fish tastes muddy and obviously from belly area) where dear said the food there to be good. No choice. Things goes wrong. Later beach road and jurong east for some business which i would never bring dear to if possible. Stupid f1 changed the whole damn route delaying us for like an hour. Went around Singapore then to beach road.

Later went jurong east and had some snacks of long john. Went to deposit like $570 when all the cash stuck in the stupid cash deposit machine. Was sooo pissed and it was just after 6. Stomped into the bank and demanded my money back. After like 20 minutes with dear in the bank, they promised to deposit $220 back first and the balance the next day.

Met steph, went for the dinner at xin wang with har kao(yay!), siew mai, spring rolls, chicken feet, century egg congee and some pork chop noodles(this is nothing compared to the one i had in hk) then went for movies. The movie was so so when steph gave me and dear a lift home. thanks ah bro.

I am starting to think that Jean will be my princess. Feelings tell me so.

Its 5.30am still turning and flipping, eyes filled with tears. Its been barely 2 weeks i’m with Jean. Things are turning bad. I am afraid i would get hurt again. Afraid real badly.

Did something wrong to Jean last evening and got a sms from her after hanging up the phone when she was on her way home since the trains too noisy for me to make out what she was saying. A text came, I dont feel like talking to you now…

My heart collapsed. I wasnt talking senses anymore. I recieved a sms something like that 4 years ago. And i dont want to get what i had 3 years ago.

I had the feeling that i would go single soon. But i cant afford to get hurt again. Getting myself really hurt over another girl. I dont want to have great food infront of me and i dont have that appitite. That feeling totally sucked.

I just want Jean to be by my side, sitting infront of that fountain, munching pretzels and cream puffs, sipping lemonade. But i hope that it wont be a history anymore.

I felt bad that i’ve deprived my month’s budget when its only the 27th.  Damn! 2 weeks to go! But am gonna try make Jean happy eventhou being broke.

Lets hope that the next post aint about a broken hearted man.

Just got rid of the crutches for almost a week. But still bringing out a single crutch just when i am tired.

Was out with Jean for the first time yesterday. Shes so sweet. Constantly asking if i needed a break from standing. But lots of tine i didnt needed them. So on we went on. Meeting at the hospital to check my leg out. The surgeon who operated on me later wanted to remove some blood which is bloating on my knee and some steriods after that. Damn! 2 100ml strynges of blood. Thanks that Jean was there. If not for her, i would have walked off.

We later went to Vivo where we met Steph for lunch and a movie after that. Then we went for hankies where Steph complained that towel looked like an aunties hankie. While looking for the mens department, we some how stumbled to the kitchen department where i found this fondue pot at $19.90. Quite worth it. So got it. Went to the ferry terminal when granny called and ask if i would be home for dinner. So bought Jean along with a box of pasteries.

Took the mrt where there was this sign, Gracious is… Giving up the seat for the more needed. Looking at me having a crutch, that dumb bitch who looked like some office girl just ignore me, stuffed her fake ipod into her ears and ignored me. Wanting to stomp my crutch on her feet and hopefully breaking some bones when she needs the seat more than me, Jean stopped me and bought me to a corner. FUCK! THE FUCKING COUNTRY ARE STARTING TO GET INFESTED BY IDIOTS. LEE KUAN YEW, DO SOMETING ABOUT IT!

 Got dinner, watch the tv and Jean was time to go. Dad bought her to his office where he got Jean some freshly baked lapis cake and bought her home. Yeah. First day out with Jean. Just hope that she dont get turn off by me.

That cute nurse, Jean from ward 2 is officially my partner for hopefully the next 50 years.

Had an operation on tuesday(16th Sept) for getting rid of some scarring tissue, white blood plasma and stuffs. 2 nicely cut holes, 3 hours of wait, 2 hours of operation and an hour of recovery from anasetic. Was operated at 2pm and woke up at 4pm, not getting any sleep till 8. Steph, Gie, Rod and dear came. I was really happy that my bros and dear came.

What motivated me to wake up is purely love. My love for granny, my love for dear and my love of buddies. I dont want to upset them, inviting them by news papers for a curry chicken party with me laying in that box smiling.

Was warded for 5 days 3 nights when i, as always went around talking cock making friends. All from 17 year old trainees to 50+ year old indian cleaners. Hey! Staying in the hospital aint fun and lets make some fun out of it.

Dear came day 1 and 2 but never stayed for more than 20 minutes. If got heart, will stay for longer thou her breaks. I really wanted her to eat before she come if not, dont come. I’ve started to love her. She has the heart to do things. But i believe that she will make more effort to see me whever i am later.

I’ve started walking since Thursday thou not looking good, i’ve managed to walk like 200m in a go. All because i want to go out with Jean on Monday, pushing and traning hard not to get around in crutches and i’ve suceed.

Thats the motivation of love.

Cutting down on sticks and they will go, All by the motivation of love, loved by a person whom i love most.

Think i have used this title sometime long long time ago.

Having Jean by my side, I am starting to know what i really want. I just dont want to have a broken heart again. I dont want another idiot like Aaron who grabbed Jun right from my hand 3 year 1 month 15 days ago.

And this pattern is totally black listed. Was angry with Jean last night thanks to her 24 year ‘god brother’ whom she knew on some maple story like games. From what i’ve heard, is a totally Aaron style. A fucked up pattern that i never want to encounter again especially with Jean.

I am a person who never want to get hurt again after that two years of agony with Jun. I dont a 2 year reletionship. I want one that can last for the next 50 years would do.

I sensed something bad from Jean. I dont know what but was not too happy when her ‘god brother’  was trying to be funny again last night. Definately i will tell Jean to ignore him. Everyone knows that i am a granade waitin for its pin to be pulled out. I am a real hot person that would explode when the times right.

This guy i suppose, might be trying to break us up and grab Jean. Not that i am too sensitive. This has happend. Telling Jean and her ex craps that might not be true resulting them breaking up and not contacting. While Jean’s broken, tried to be the nice guy asking her out and grabbing her hands. What an ass. Even the blind knows his motive.

I aint sure if i am too much to stop her contacting that ass. I just want to relax and give Jean as much freedom as i could. I aint sure i could. But i also want my freedom. As i’ve said, girls are everywhere. Brothers are always there. So tresure brothers more than chicks. I would balance them. That i have never done before, noticed that i lost all my friends when i broke up with ex. At least, there was Christina, Steph and Yu siew who bought me up when i fell.

I thought that i can love a person well when i was with Jun. But i am totally wrong. I forgot how to love since she left. But lets let me love and be loved as time goes. I will learn it again just for Jean.

I want my freedom. I want Jean to be happy. I dont want to be hurt again.

Dear. If i am too sensitive or filled too much with jealousy, tell me eh.

3 years 1 month and 14 days of searching, i think i have found her. After 300 sms and countless hours on msn. Its that nurse who pop out from nowhere leaving me a pen for the hospital survey form. Whats your name ay? Its on the pen. Jeannette.

Noticed that nurse who had a handiplus and opsite postop over the handiplus. First impression was… Wah so kiasu ah? And realised that i see that nurse 20 times an hour washing her hands next to my bed at the ward which i was warded due to having persistant fever and infection to the knee operation area i did last month.

Feeling really bored, decided to disturb the nurse teasing her that she cant stop washing her hands. We soon begun to chat when theres this indian staff nurse staring at her. And she left after like 5 minutes.

Was so tired after reciving like 6 jabs of painkillers to extract some juice from knee and was closing my eyes for a nap when i felt someone touching the stitch up area on my shin. Found this trainee nurse touching the stitch think shes figering out how to remove the stitch. And Jeannette came in and left when 2 staff nurses same with 2 plastic tweesers, a pair of sissors and gauze in a kidney tray.

Dont think the staff nurses even know how to remove the stitches and anyhow wack, cutting every rope they can find. And i reject lots of cuts and instructed how they remove the lines. Finally the longest line came out and then they were removing the stitch that is having a little of in growth and i didnt dare to remove. After digging, it finally came out with lots of blood.

Time to go after filling the survey form and wanted to befriend Jeannette while i returned her her pen. And there, i got her number. After 300 sms and endless hours on msn, realised shes a real nice girl and slowly, shes the one i was looking for during the 3 years. Last night, she hinted that she has feelings for me and i was like… Uh. I am gonna woo her sooner or later knowing her ‘pattern’ which resambles someone i know.

Tried to psyco her to say that she like me in simpiler forms, she did. Telling her i had feelings on her too. I know she wasnt just someone normal. Someone special she was.

At 10.02am, a sms came. I mean… Let me be with u… Bah… Shy nar… >.<

Days of singlehood is over. Hopefully, for good and forever.

Jeanette, jiayou!