cHeF dE sUeH wAh’S bLoG

Fuck that shit. Was dead pissed on roderick. treated him like a buddy and what he did was nothing more than for girls. What you’d say, betray a friend all because of girls. Which made me dead pissd. It all started when he borrowed from me $450 in april. as he promised that he will return at least half by may’s end. but a whole load of crap. leaving me dead broke without even the cash to even buy washing powder. and what he did for that money? yes. part of his living expenses. and part of it? sure goes into some girl’s pocket. and what for i need to loan him cash to go into another girls pocket?

organised a paintball session on the 3rd of june with him promising to turn up. and at the last min, he told me he is having some meeting in KL and blah blah blah. His calling tone? a tone that would do in singapore. a whole load of lies. perhaps hes broke. and where did his money go? to another girls pocket when he is complaining about that he is broke. i would not know what is he up to till now.

trying to impress a girl? backstab his friends. not once but twice. thats it. fuck it.

Have enough is enough. Fuck! So many thinkings of ‘her’ for like 2 weeks and without much sleep or almost no sleep or like 3 nights until i got so tired after a session of paintball. Fine!

Stop thinking of her! Shes not a straight anyway, shes attached. So fuck it.

Went for paintball on sunday in JB and knew some great people there that day. Organised another one on comming wednesday and gonna blast my heart out! Wahahaha

Sundays also pretty busy. Gotta go for a small IPSC competition and i think its fated to loose.

At least now, i got a new notebook, can surf without the stupid pda typing like shit. Just want more peace. what for think for a girl for weeks? When its fated, she will come to me. Like the chinese sayings; if it will come, if it wont, it wont.(Yuan zhe shang gou, fu zhe ren liu)

Am i hooking so much lately? Ok. All snakes. That girl, 18, the year of snake. That malay cutie, 18, the year of snake. That saloon girl, also a snake. One more snake that seemed suspicious, also a snake.

Hmm. Looks like i’m like a wild boar too tasty for snakes to resist.

But never mind. When it comes, it will come. If it wont, i’ll just have to wait. How long? It does not matter. Just one day. Like what i’ve said, i need that simple girl with just salt and pepper. Black pepper.

Written on 2 June 2007

Was at least sleeping last night not too soundly but at least managed to catch several hours of it. Think its like 5am to about 8am. Thanks to the drummer who love to blast his damn shit early in the morning. I jumped up from bed, half nude, took nothing more than my armed surefire, grab my keys and set off hoping to find that dumb shit. Doesn’t he need sleep like me? At least STFU and not tell everyone in the block, ‘LOOK! I HAVE GOT OUT OF BED!’.

With eyes only half open, running up and down locating that dumb shit which have used up all my energy, I went home and started staring at the blank again. At least i’ve got something to do. Iron 2 week’s worth of laundry. But did not bother after 2 trouses after realising it won’t do without the spray bottle. Called singtel to make more noises since my contract has a huge error since I can’t be bothered to read it but signed on.

Went to teach that fat kid and later met Mike. Tomorrows my big day. Paint ball season! Gotta wakie at 5.30am. Wahhhhhh. But no choice. Its my passion. Gotta sleep early today. Don’t wanna get shot like the panda

Have I fallen for her? A girl I have barely seen her for the third time which kindda have feeling just after hours meeting. Now, I can even forget her name. Is that Aderlain? Or something. After three sleepless nights, with every moment thinking of ‘her’. Have met earlier like 8pm hanging out with a friend whom I knew Aderlain from(lets this buddy A). Told A about I can’t stop thinking about her since Tuesday and I was just given a chance to speak to her yesterday. As everyone know, I am not good wit my words when it comes to speaking to a girl, whom I chosen to move my cross hair onto. The real problem now is that she prefers rubber. Have I fallen so deep to someone who loves rubber?

I’ll have to say, I have not though of anyone like this before Kanas. To be honest, not even Jun have attracted me so much like ‘Aderlain’. Now I shall say. She’s the only one I’d prefer to a SV infinity xcelerator hybrid 6 inch.

Its always a puzzle to me after the ‘cage’ incident, shall I start to love and to be loved. Why not just love my brown and cookie and I am sure they love me more than I did to them. They accepted who am I and never wanted to hurt me.

I wonder who would be the next person who would read my physical diary. Sometimes what’s the difference here and the physical is having lots of sensitive issues. Only the one I truly trusted and loved would have this chance. So far, Jun is the only one. But I am looking for the next. And the only one.