cHeF dE sUeH wAh’S bLoG

Just came back from a round of interview. Went Tiong barhu first for a Chef de partie position and when i called up the number stated on yesterday’s classified, an ah pek told me if i can do pastry and cakes. Was thinking what the fuck??!! Pastry and cakes? Can la. I tikam already. Go grab some cookbooks on my shelf and start to flip when they tell me to go research. Chef de partie = Pastry chef??

So thats their standard. So i know that i can fool those idiots. Wahahaha

A lady names Judy called like 5 minutes later and ask me to go for an interview. I told her honestly. I know only the basics of making cakes and pastries. Infact, in my life i have not made any cakes apart from icing the Log cake and the chocolate cake i make every morning.

She said she was looking for a CDP and a Chef de pastrie to save her own face i believe. So i made an appoiment with her at like 6pm while i took my own sweet time surfing the net looking for a dj console, checking out the distributor of the brand Hercules, calling them to check out the pricing then took my own sweet time bathe, dress up and slowly polished my Clarks.

When i arrived at Thiong barhu market, where the hell is the place??!! Some ulu ulu shit place is that. And took me 20 minutes before i found that place. Nice. A nicely lit place with a real nice open concept pastry kitchen. Then came out a super ugly old hen. ‘Hi. Is Judy around? I’ve had an appoiment with her at 6.’ I asked the waiter. ‘Nor. Shes the one.’ he replied. So i said hi and everything while she sent me to a sofa enclosed table. She introduce me to her chef, Shirley. A really cute girl dressed in baby blue t-shirt and levis in her mid 20s. Not pretty but her eyes and her smile are really sweet.

Fuck! Shes a chef? Dammit! When i am in a bad mood, i will fuck her man! And what if she cries? Dammit! No! I dont want a sweet girl to cry when i raise my voice like i always do when i am busy which will get me into a real bad mood. Fuck! Nevermind. She will be a good partner to work with. Cos i know shes ok with anything. Look at the phatetic menu! 6 items which are like Baked rice, Baked lagsane, Sheperds pie, Spagethi mariana, Spagethi carbonara and like a fried dont know what. So i can come out with my 1001 pattern. Roulade la.. Chicken cordon bleu la… And in the end of the day, my job simple ok already.

You can look for a CDP you must pay for a CDP eh! Dont give me $1100 or $1200. I will tell you fuck you and come again earlier tommorw. So now, i am waiting for that call from that whatever cafe and i really wish to work with that cute chick since shes ok with whatever which will give me a real simple life!

Right. Then i went to a pub at Thiong barhu. For another round of interview as a bartender which that place looked like a juggy thingy. Jug of bourbon coke… Gin lime… Relax la. But i dont like the bosses which look like typical lao beng(old ah beng) or shall i call that Mafia? Its named House of rock which has like disco? Live band(sucky malay ones)? And Ktv(AHHHHH!!!!!). I hate lousy singers! And they gave me one fucked up pay! $1100 per month and no transportation provided. Fuck! $1100? 26 days and $20per night for cab fare? Half my pay gone. Another for $220 for my cpf. Fuck! I am left with $340? Eat air ah? But he told me that he will arrange. So fine! You betta arrange and tommorw i am gonna start work. If no transport, No second day!

Such a phathetic new year. I hate it infact. New year, is a season to be joyful. For everyone but my family. Dad, mom, sis are all working in dad’s catering business. And i used to untill last year. I hate working for him. You think a cook is just a cook there? A cook is a punching bag, a cook is a delivery man, a cook is a stewards and a cook is a driver. What the fuck! Its though job boy. Worse still, a punching bag. My dad fuck everyone when he is not in good mood. Even if you are doing perfectly alright. He would mention things like, Look! You cant work because you only have your girl in your heart and blah blah blah.

Fuck! i dont wanna have my new year ruined by getting fucked early in the morning and you can start work at 5am and end only at 3am. and continue another 5am to 3am the next day. Fuck! NO!

All i gonna do is just make some spring roll, some samosa, cut some(yeah 10kg is what i call some) fish and peel water chestnuts(i peeled 12 kg this year!). Which obviously suck but theres no stress. Sitting on the dining table, happily blasting some Chinese pop and RnB, watch tv and enjoy doing my job. STRESS FREE!

I dont know what kick in me. Just shall i say like this girl who i have never knew for long. Not the one at the pub i knew. I just want a simple life and a simple girl. Is that asking for the sky? Why girls cant stay faithful? Can girls go without those ridicolusly priced manicure? Right. I shall say that i spent quite an amount doing up my hair. But i think it just look okay. And i am happy with that. Can you just cut your own nails and not apply any paint on it? If you want paint, i will get down to the hardware store and get some japanese products for you. Nippon good enough? It comes in more tones and more economical. You can paint your whole body with it if you want!

Was fickle for a moment of time. Especially working at the pub. Some who you know are really nice. In fact, they are not! I’ve seen this poor buggar. On my off day with Botak and Caleb getting to 97 to get my pay. Hey de ninety seven is not a cheap place to go! Infact, pubs are not cheap places to go. A regular customer(who wore $2 market slippers, $10 for 3 shorts and some cheapo market tee. Was at the hawker center downstairs bringing out a chinese girl(old enough to be her father thou) getting porridge since that girl is a vegetarian, she wanted like plain porridge with salted egg and some fried cabbage. $3 the hawker told that man. Guess what??! So expensive ah? Dont want, dont want. He told the hawker. What the fuck? Can afford to get a chinese chick and cant even afford for a $3 bowl of porridge?

I am not rich. I cant bring my girl to a pub regularly.  But i sure can spend my girl not to say a $3 porridge. A $13 one also can.

I JUST WANT SIMPLE! Is simplicity so diffucult?

Smell; to perceive the odor or scent of through the nose by means of the olfactory nerves.

Smell always come by and some are diffucult to forget. Especially when someone smells bad in an MRT. Better still, sitting right beside you. Perhaps a classmate of yours smell. Worse! For the next seven or eight hours to tollerate him. Hell it is!

The smell of festive. A smell of the lunuar new year. A smell never to be forgotten since two or three. The stinky timber cutting board of pork, year after year for grand ma to hand chop the pork for fish maw soup. The smell of 20 or 30 types of perfume mixed together in your house. The nicest smell; the the paint of your ang pao envelope(which should contain money). This has just told me tommorw is Lunuar new year. I have no mood about this for the past 6 years. No renuion dinner, no visiting of houses of friends and reletives and no break. Its the busiest peroid of dad’s business and its a nightmare where anything might go wrong.

But i have since stopped working for him like 2 years. Since an arguement over my girl. 2005 renuion dinner for me? Gold bars(jin tiao), chinese coppers(ying bao), gold flowing(huang jin gun gun) and bubble coke light. What are those? Gold bars? Instant noodles which looked gold colour to me that day. Gold flowing? Scrambled eggs. Chinese coppers? Sauteed canned mushroom with butter, salt and pepper. And it was eatten with my ‘only’ family member Scooby. I really hate this and i will never want this to happen again. Maybe if i am alone the next time? A 5 course dinner. Haha. Planned this for like several months ahead incase of emergency. First course, Ceasar salad with abalone and fried croutons(stolen from the storeroom and its horse brand), Pan seared foir gras(those soaked in oil ones) with cola reduction(always in my chiller for the reduction), Cream of shark fin(done by using dad’s priced sharkfin and cook with milk, roux and chicken powder haha), maincourse; Pan fried crispy pork chops(always avaliable in my chiller since i no longer take beef) with honey mastard, sauteed carrots and mashed poatatoes. And for seafood, Jumbo king prawns cooked sambal, 3kg fillet seabass bbq indonesian style. And for desert? Canned longan with canned lychee and canned longan with whatever ice cream or soubet.

Smells dont just apply on festivals.

When i travel, i remember that smell. A smell unique for that area.

Like in japan, when i was only three. I dont remember anything but the smells i came across there like 16 years ago. Its mirin with a hint of chestnut wood, Shoyu and the japanese steamboat. I dont know where this smell like in japan but it definately smelt of japan.

In Hong kong, from a distance i smelt something. Something funny but firmillar. I looked for the source. The smell was more overwelming. It stinks. Its the chou tou fu(smelly beancurd). Yes this is Hong kong i will remember even if i am blind. I smelt this before when i was five. This is the smell. And when i went to the blacksmith to get my knife, i smell another firmiliar. The smell of heated metal. A smell unique and I know i am in Hong kong.

In New Zeland, i was also really young. 7 years old. I cant remember a thing. But if again, i am blind. I can tell you its new zeland. The smell of those small white flowers. Smells something like manuka honey. Manuka is made of that flower! I remember that smell. And i know its unique.

I just miss those smell. I want to find them. But i cant. I want to get know more smells than these few countries and i wonder when can i know them all.

Right. The end of another bad day with a bad day streak of 3 days already. Cant there be an end??!!

Right. Got woke up by dad to go work for him like 7am? Which i obviously ignored the knockings and continued sleeping. Then came this phone call. A call from Ang mo kio police station getting my ass down to the station this afternoon for another round of statement for that dumb case of me using someone’s ic to get a handphone which i did not.

Cummon. For a couple of hundreds, i will do? Perhaps a couple million bucks i will do that. Think i so free? Nah! After the interview, a quick ride to Gamesters to get some lan games done, get my hair done, then go home for dinner.

Fuck! My hair! My frindge! Guys who’ve known me for some time would know never to mess with my frindge. Kept it for like a year and a half, almost to chin length and SNAP! Its gone. Thinking of rebonding it again but what to do? Gotta go court again on the 26th. Fuck them! Right. Should not keep it since i will look like a CAB(Chao ah beng) which i have retired for like 3 years? And its sure getting curly due to time.

There goes my frindge. Perhaps not too bad. Several months later, it also has to go. To service the nation.

Fuck the nation instead! Look. Will you have a job that requires you to stay in your workplace for 24 hours a day, 132 hours a week or 528 hours a month??!! Okay. I will accept such a job. Provided? S$100k a month! So the dumb goverment is giving me like 250 times my expected salary. Fuck it!

After more than 1 month of not clubbin, here i am. Alive and getting more!

Went with Shana, her guy and her friends for the flank party at bumble bee on saturday night which shana and her guy went off just before eleven.

All thanks to me, getting like 3 bourbon coke, 1 gin tonic, 1 tequilla shot and 3 teaquilla slammer with her guy which got him laying flat on the floor. And for me? Wahaha alcohol takes effect on me for not more than 30 minutes. Thanks for working at de 97 which got me immue to alcohol.

Got like 6 bourbon coke, 2 tequilla shot and 5 tequilla slammer(which one was an XXL one since they were out with rocks glass, they used double rocks with double the volume too!) which i intended to get drunk and i cant! Waste money only. Haha

Ken and his friend later joined in at like 12am. I was far too anti social to dance there with the other party goers. So, after flooding calls to ken and rodney(which eventually played out) and landed me sitting there looking at some babes for almost 2 hours. Shana’s friends were told that two of my friends comming are commandos.

Yup. Commando’s driver. Wahahaha i did not mentioned it properly and after Shana’s friends heard it, they were so happy. So her friends are? Nope. Not hot babes. Some curry flavour ones. To be precised, 3 curry and 1 xiao long bao. To say, the xiao long bao is pretty hot and to think about, shes the hottest in the club that night. The night was getting suckier when the 3 guys went outside and deciding where to go. Number one, One night stand. Number two, geylang. Number three, go gamester to play lan(which was my idea). Number four, go home.

So we went geylang. Go geylang do what? Go with ken’s friend to look for chicken. Me? Oh yes! As what kevin(from IMH) said, the tim sum there is very good. And what i say? Get contriband cigarettes.

So we alighted at lorong 18. Saw some old hens and fish tanks which i did not bother more than my craving of tim sum. As we later walk to lorong 16, we see QX. Lots of them in all forms. Bus, van, the new no backside one and subaru arrrsting everything. From buyers of contriband cigarettes all the way to prostitutes. Fine fine fine. So no cigarettes. And a long walk around geylang to look for prostitute for that bastard. After like 1 hour of walking, we all got fedup and that guy went home in a cab. Ken and i? Not intrested in the hunt of prostitute. But the hunt of tim sum!

Alright. Found this corner tim sum shop around the corner. Mong Kok Tim Sum. Ordered like 12 dishes including; Har kao, siew mai, pork rib, sotong ball(flattened. how come?), char siew pao, century egg poridge, chee cheong fun and carrot cake.

The best har kao i have ever taken. Maybe the second. I cant decide from the one made by Ah leong in Bliss. I had har kao. Too much of it. Ever tried going 20 tim sum parlors in Hong kong for just a pu-er tea and a basket of har kao for breakfast? I’ve done that. In a role of 3 days. So 60 parlors in search for the perfect har kao? Think i suffer from OBD liao.

A perfect har kao must have this citeria. Juicy, appearance of skin is transluent, the flavour of prawn must be present, the prawn must be crunchy but natural.

A perfect siew mai. Meat must not be tender nor too though. Prawns must be crunchy like har kao. Mushroom is a must in the siew mai. It should not be steamed till soggy. The perfect one? In that super ulu san shui, china. Tim sum is a culture there. A place to hang out especially for the elderlys. A place always full and a short que is there. Prawns are never present in traditional siew mai since prawns are added in Hong kong. The siew mai there has only roughly chopped pork and mushroom and it rocks. I still believe the pork are hand chopped for that kind of texture.

Chee cheong fun. I dont know much about this but i believe that it should be a melt in your mouth thing and the sauce must be made from good soy sauce and rock sugar.

After this visit to Geylang, you will see me more often there for cigarettes and tim sum. But you will never see me getting anything more than that.

A dog, is a dog. A faith cant be ammended.

My dog. My 2 dogs.

Brown and cookie.

Cookie. A stray who got adopted from a park ranger in Puala Ubin. A coward little puppy very fuzzy on the food she takes. A puppy who takes only meat.

Brown. Son of Cookie. A devoted young boy, and his birthdays today. Cooked him a chunk of steak which he loved.

I have never met this dog in my life till i met brown. I was brought bout of my house in an unpleasand way on the 10th of January, infront of him without goodbye(which i did daily before getting out). Being tied up helplessly watching his owner being bought out by 2 men who he have never seen before bringing his owner out of home and got into a car. Someones crying outside the car. He senses somethings strange. And the night was spent all alone with mummy, Cookie. No one is watching the tv. No one is letting him in. No one lets him on the sofa. No ones walking him. A feeling never felt before.

I will always tell Brown before i go out, ‘Brown, i’m going out. I gotta go work for you to eat. You better behave yourself ok?’. A pat on his head. A slash on the door, i am out. Out working or out playing. Its his habbit for walks and if he gets out himself, a buffet of chilli, ginger, medicated oil or fresh peppercorns will land in his either nose or mouth. A cane being hit on his butt. A swell appears. A look of fear appears on his face.

Its my habbit to walk him. Its my habbit to feed him what i eat. And i am missing for almost 3 weeks. I badly missed him.

The day after i left home, i was informed. Brown went missing for 4 days. He would never leave home for more than an hour. The family thought hes either gone or dead. Day four. He appeared infront of the gates. Barked and everyone were delighted to see him home. He gluped water. He take food that he had never eat usually. A mission to look for his owner but has no avail. A failed mission. But i am touched for what have he done for me.

Why cant human poccess a little part of my one year old boy? Can someone poccess a hint of it at all?

Right. Just came back from the hospital(kana trapped there for 2 weeks!) for check up on my mental conditions and i was predicted a psycotic killer, after a 17yo dumb bastard cant stop calling for NURSE!!!! In the middle of the night till he got tied and i started splashing urine on him. Cool huh? Wahaha

Just got into another round of deep trouble like a month ago after getting so vexed when caleb left. Seriously vexed. Hes just too reliable when around. Haha. Every time, different court. 12th, Court 26. 26th, court 26. Today, court 3. Comming 26th, court 3. It would still get me into trouble getting out with people that wont create me troubles.

But still got into trouble. Just met jun(no choice. no one to hang out with. Haha) like last Friday to Kbox at suntec, Sunday to ECP for my ‘great’ blading experience that i have not even touched a pair of blades for the past 5 years! And got me a hand full of abrasions. And at the end of the day, i am being blamed. Blamed because of me, her guy left her. Not my fault at all thou. She lied and that dumb bastard left her. I did not tell her to lie. Not my problem already in the first place. She sms me on thursday night telling me to go and die with her cos her mom did not let her work at a KTV Pub. What for i die for her??!! She mad or what? Wanna die, go and die alone. Tell me for fuck. Ok. I will help her call the police to standby below her block. I will call the fire department to get the ‘balloons’ inflated incase she jumps(i doubt thou). Die with her? Cummon! I wont die for anyone in any ways. Yes. I will want to be the hero to dash into the other half of a broken plane to rescue a life. Maybe the life of an ah pek. Maybe for my puppy, Brown2. If luck permits to, a bikini babe. Perhaps Angella Nelson, maybe Christina Algulera. To rescue them from the plane that snapped while taking off(definately after too much jumping in the toilet by ME!). Haha for that, i die with the honour of HERO. But to jump with that dumb bitch? Fat hope!

Haha tried to be funny and sms someone this, ‘You want a broken hand or leg? Guai lan hor?’. Wanted to wack, legally. But dont know how to do so. So dont go by the stupid law! Go by the law of physics. What is to be done is to have an effect.

Right. After getting out of hell, lets see… How much have i spent on calling overseas? $25? Within a week! All to my beloved Caleb, Abby(Caleb’s hot(wahahaha) sis) Ghost and Allen.