cHeF dE sUeH wAh’S bLoG

Well, its like more than a year has passed. Meijun is missing. Missing from my heart. Never thought of her untill like the last few hours. Thinking of what we did, how things go when we were together and so on.

The reason for me being single for the past one and a half months perhaps, I never really liked a person after all. Stop wasting my time on looking for one that i dont like and just wait untill there is this girl who i think i am serious.

I hate breaking up. I hate depression. I hate being questioned. I hate being controled.

I dont wanna be greedy. Just one will do. And i am waiting for that one.

Perhaps, i love to travel. Just this moment, lets go for coffee. The next moment saying sorry. I cant make it cos i am gonna fly later. A trip to hong kong costs S$4000. With another going with me, another S$2000(at least) must be spent. Where do i find that kind of cash for another?

Remembering like in December 2003. Going to a simple place with my family to Genting highlands. Nothing was fun. Nights were filled with tears. I am nothing but a zombie trying every ways to call Jun to say that, ‘girl. Dont worry. I’m safe. I will be back for you in 3 days.’ But it was not possible. Going every corner looking for something to buy back for her. I remembered. A glass rose. A light blue one. The colour she liked most. It was so fragile but i was saying nevermind. I will bring it safely home. Bring it in 1 piece to mei jun. Yes i did. Burying it in a tissue box stuffed with tissue hugging it back right to the customs of singapore who insisted to open up and see what i was hugging in the tissue box. The officer smiled and asked; who is this for? My girlfriend, i replied. Thank you. You may go. You are so nice to your girlfriend.

Jun was happy with tears to see me back. Giving a hug. A hug so unforgetable till now.

Another incident. I quarreled with my dad. For being home late and not helping him work. Walking out of my house, turning off my phone(grand ma could not stop calling). Out of desperation, grand ma called Jun. When i was walking to my then bro; Darrick’s place to spend the night. Calls were flooded to my friends and Jun managed to speak to me not knowing where i was calling from. She was crying. I knew. Telling her i am fine. And not to tell anyone where i was. After lots of coax, I decided to go home. Not only mei jun was worried. Her mom, grand-ma, sis were all very worried about me.(But why? i dont understand. I am not killing myself and neither do i am going to kill someone or perhaps rob.) And i decided to go find Jun telling her not to get anyone know about it. She ran.

Getting 1km the opposite way i was going but in the end, we met. Maybe its fated that we will meet that day. Finally, we met with Jun really crying. Really badly. She did not utter a word and just hug me. Holding my hand leading towards her block of flats, with her mom and brother waiting for me to return. After lots of coax, i decided to go home. It was really memorable though i dont have a recall when it happend or even which year.

But our reletionship has ended. With not a nice ending.

But i am happy that i once had her.

Maybe its our fate to be once together and teach us lots of principals of life.

And be a better partner for the next person comming into our life.

But still, i missed her.

Alright. No more Spageddis, no more modesto(as a bartender). Back to my long long time ago area being a full time beach bum. With bartendering again but its really a nice nice place to work in. Yesterdays my first day and it kindda rocks! Yeah! No more phillipino bimbo with a saggy breast, no more indian bold asses, no more complains.

Perhaps, i am seriously a fucker. I knew i am wrong. But i am helping someone to forget her partner and in the end? I get a stab. What i was totally trying to do is to get (okay lets call the one i am trying to let her forget her partner B and her partner A) B to forget A cos A is doing somthing that should never happen. And i told B about everything(promising to keep her mouth shut) minus the names and in the end? B told A everything and me? I am a piece of dead meat. Fucked up huh?

So moving to the new workplace, i am gonna put everything at Spageddis and to my new work place. Dont try finding me. Cos you cant. Even when i tell you east coast park. My numbers gonna change and the only way to find me is at my regular pub if anyone knows where it is.