cHeF dE sUeH wAh’S bLoG

What am i? A lover? Or a player?

I hated life. But, it has to go on. Working for $500. What is that enough for? My cigarettes or my cab fare?

Have i fallen for this girl so deeply that i did not want to stand up again and never look forward but backwards.

She, has 3 guys by her side after me. Hoping to replace me. One, a true bastard. Fuck, then run. Next, a faggot. Then, a mad ass. Slit outside her house for 2 times when they are together for only one week. But he survived. Ay!! Wanna slit, use a better knife la!! Use your life savings

I was hurt by you once. But, i am not scared for getting a second time again.

You lied to cover your mom’s ass. I have forgiven you.

You drove me almost to jump down. I have forgiven you.

You took someone to take over me. I have forgiven you.

And you? I hope that you would forgive me for what i have previously done on you.

I miss you. But, i’m not sure if i want you back.

Boring is all i can say about this place.

People with no life, what they does after work?

Go home and sleep.

Go shopping at mustafa? Too far. Go Kovan hub for some drinks, lazy. Seemed that everyone there does not have a life but is just wasting most of their life.

The fridge, super dirty and messy. Salad served warm, stakes done in microwave for medium well and well done. Semi-rotten alfafa sprouts, demi-glaze with bubbles on top indicating that its spoilt, dried parsley flakes drizzled on ream of plates, no one bothers to wipe reams when sauce is spilled and stale croutons on ceasar salad. This is what i see in bliss. Yes. There are also good food. But has its limits.

What a boring place for me to survive in.

This sucks!

Sorry jun. I never knew i was such a lousy boyfriend. I did not realise this untill someone in bliss told me what i’ve done a year and a half ago, on christmas eve. I hate christmas eve! Last christmas, i was so mad at you, you almost slit your wrist. I have mistook you. You were wiping cutleries and cut your fingers four times. And i shouted at you. That slap should never land on your face.

Sorry.

So sorry. Your times also up. I’ve told you that i would welecome you back untill this time. And the times up. Sorry.

I’m long gone and gone to continue my daily life, trying really hard to forget you. But i will remember everyday till the day comes with the cover close shut and burn to ashes. What a sweet girl you were, loving me despite my really really bad attitute. And how many long hours i have spent looking for a knife with you on my side. The first kiss i’ve given you when i returned from Genting. The first hug on christmas eve 2003. The very first ‘i love you’ on that eve of christmas. The very first tear you’ve dropped for me. I would rather hurt myself than to see you cry. I know that you are now lost and is looking for someone to guide you out. Sorry. I will never be me again to guide you out of that lonely world.

I am now looking at a love seemed so far and to continue my long waiting jorney for another girl. I’ve used 5 years up for you and the next, would be using 50 for that other girl.

So long, sorry and goodbye.

Kwei.

I think you should know who you are that i’ve promised.

A very very close friend. Thats all i can clue you.

Remember i’ve told you that i am fallin for u?

And gotta wait till you’re 21?

Alright. I’ll wait. Seriously, i would. I promise.

I knew that by time, i would touch you. 2 years is nothing. If by waiting, it would make things last, i would really really do. You’re the person who really understood me and really guided me out of all sorts of craps. Thou you sometimes ke siao and unimpitient. But, i know that by waiting for you since i’ve promised you in august last year. Yes. I’ve been killing time by fooling around. But, i really promise you that i would wait. Because, i know what sort of person you are and am seriously in to it. You’re busy and so am i. With that stupid attachment.

I know i am sometimes crazy and childish. I have mentioned. I dont like to wack people unless my mood really allows me to. But, for the 2 years i am gonna wait, i will really hope to grow up and ready for you by then. Alright? just look at this 2 years later.

I’m waiting for you.

Hmm. Got a long lecture by stef yesterday. Finally woke up. Forget about even contacting jun. Did not understand the song ‘zhu wo shen rui kwai le’ untill stef explained the meaning. The meaning? On the birthday of the female, that guy left her and she was really sad. She was left all alone till one day that guy came back. She really loved that guy but is also filled with a little of hatred. All she want is to be all alone.’

Now, i’ve really got it. She loved me but is also with hatred. I wanted her back but she wants to be alone. So, lets forget about her and go ahead with life.

Fine. Looks like, what isnt for me isnt for me. I wont go for another girl untill this day when i’ll discover her. Perhaps its that girl that i promised to wait for her for another 3 years. Maybe, its another. So lets let faith to decide.

All i wanted from a girl is simple. What she wanted from me should be the same.

A girl who does not mind that i am a dish washer that takes $200 a month home.

A girl that trust me on whatever i do but tends to get jealous when i over does it.

A girl who lets me cuddle her to sleep.

A girl that doesn’t greed.

A girl that i can trust leaving a million dollar with her.

A girl who helps you when you are busy and does not expect a return.

A girl who rushes to your workplace to bring you home after she learnt that you’re sick.

A girl who says ‘i love you’ from the bottom of her heart

A girl need not be pretty or rich.

A girl that does not have attitute problems

A girl that has good temper.(A hot tempered girl would never be long with me cos i have a nasty temper.)

A girl that insists in singing to me every night.

I’ve found her. But, I’ve lost her again. I loved her deeply. But my attitute gave her off. Still missing her till now, 10 months after we broke up. A replacement for her is imposible, but i am willing to have another and risk getting hurt again.

Oi! Lim bei now tell u. Keep away from my blog if u come here and kao bei kao bu can? I reli not free to come and reply your comment. Now, its shut up!!! Whatever u think alright? This is a place for me to scribble of what i really think and thats it! Not happy dont can dont come wan! Did i use a gun pointing at you to read my blog? No right? I also cant be bothered to talk more already. Whatever u did, u know. So shut the fuck up!!! My friends are sure pissed to see their e-mail flooded with 23 mails all like ‘chef de sueh wah have updated his blog.’ daily after a hard day of work. Come here and dee siao siao.. Wanna dee siao, go bliss la! Wanna piss us off right? order 20 orders of each item in the menu. Thats where we get pissed. You like ice huh? I give u smoking hot oil! So u betta stop that fucking shit. Or if its not done in purpose, just apologise. You sure wont want half a leg fried huh? And dont keep on come in and kao bei kao bu or subo me. You’d expect a nice Zwilling J.A. Henckles 5 Star 8inch Chef Knife or a fucking hot tray loaded with calamari, sotong ball and fries flying at you! Limbei now say the last time i forgive. But u fuckingly disturb again, i will fuckingly give u a nice time at bliss DAILY!

Wah! Opposite my house got that stupid election. I will vote for the party which sells cigarettes and alcohol without taxes, no gst is applied, guns or at least airsoft guns are legalised, no income tax, no road tax, no ERP, no fuel tax and those fuckingly stupid taxes. Like last week, i met the stupid MP from PAP. I questioned him why is cigarettes so expensive which i could get 3 packets in malaysia? His answer, the goverment is poor.(ya right…) and why isnt nicorettes subsidised. because this will discourage you from picking up smoking. isnt that the goverment urges us to stop smoking? $40 for a stupid box of gums? cigarettes are cheaper.

A reply was given that why the goverment is poor. A misuse of autorities and thats it! No snakes or exotic pets allowed in singapore. isnt that we are having a free trade thing to the united states of america? most of these pets are from south america! to have a better bond with america, we should legalise more things. like? guns from america! Stagyer Volt, Colt, Tarus, Beretta? to gain a better trade with america, pm lee said that those terrorist are bad people. resulting? almost got bomb on our asses. if i never die nevermind. but will jam the stupid mrt line for at least 2 hours. to build a better soldier, airsoft wargames should be conducted without these stupid license like hong kong. just dont fire at anyone or any any animals that are not willing to be shot. such guns are to be boxed up when transported. fair? getting a SV Infinity 5inch in hong kong cost you barely S$300 and how much am i paying for a stupid gun in the range which i could say that i dont totally own but for the range to keep it and is used only by yourself. 1 SV Infinity 5inch costs S$1600 ONLY for the gun, paper work and transportation. what the fuck!! 5 times the price with a cab fare for 2 weeks. this item might be used for robery? learn america la! by fitting a red tip on the front and everyone knows that its a toy. abuse? kids are always kids. they will never think. shoot on the ceiling and another buggar look and kana his eye. be clever! sell to people above 18 or 21. why ra isnt sold to minors? and y cigarettes are to only above 18?

Hai. Its like exactly 10 months that you have left me. And my heart has torn apart 10 months ago. Whos gonna be by my side on my birthday? Air. I missed you so much that i accidentally took someone for u. A person who could never be replaced in my heart. I did hate you very very much 6 months ago. But i am really treating you as a little sis. Sorry. Times up and no more me as your hubby. Because, no one could ever live up the title as pig pig once again in my whole life. Not even you jun. The girl i loved most would never come back by my side. I’m turning into an asshole. I could not figure out what you’ve been trying to tell me in songs that you’ve told me. I am too hurt to have another girl serious. I’m like fuck! Just flirt. I know you are also too hurt to have another guy. But too bad. What i have done, i should not regret. I hold your hands and laid my heart on you which i will never ever take it back. I love you. But, goodbye.

Some lyrics from several songs that i wanna let you know how i felt for u.

m2m, the day you went away; Well i wonder, could it be. When i was thinking bout you baby you were thinking of me. Did i loose my love to someone better, someone who love you like i do. You know i really really do. Well hey, so much i have to say, been lonely since the day, the day you went away.

air supply, all out of love; thinking of you till it hurts, i know you’re hurt too but what els can i do. tormented and torn apart. i’m all of love, i’m so lost without you, i know you were right, keeping for so long.

air supply, goodbye.

Hope that you’d hear these songs and think what i’m trying to mend.

Jun. Just to share with u. I have tried for another girl whom i knew for 1 week. But, i heard of some nasty background of hers and did not believe. Now, i kana. But wahaha i’m too clever to siam. Shes just a 16 year old kid and is like kindda childish and now, even accuse me for spreading her num. fuck! i see her, i nua but she is too cb liao la.. You are already so mild tempered but we ended up this way. I dont know what will happen for this one cos shes like endless lo.. Really childish and i am gonna shoot her down. Gotta see her in bliss eh!! sian 1/2 but nevermind.. wahaha i gonna cut all lines from her to subo me but i will subo her till the end!!! which she quits! u know ur hubby la.. haha i make prank calls? fuck! too free or too much sleep liao?

Anyone knows me well enough would know, i would never prank call. Tio bo stef? nor i would ask anyone to do so. Smoking is bad for MY health and not anyone els so this issue is none of anyones business but one who concerns for me. Drinking is a way to relax and destress after a long stupid day at work. I have the cash, i drink. I dont, i wont drink. Its 100% fully, totally none of anyones business and dont see anyone getting harmed in any ways unless i’m drunk. And a mug a day is not more than the calories of a slice of bread and it would help the body to immue. Drinking is an ART. How is beer made? sprouting, knilling, milling, hopping, brewing….

I’m an artistic person. By foods, the way you cook it, the way u plann it, using some unique ingredients which is never seen or heard before like angoustura bitters in sauce? Stupid try. But try again, wow! Anyone know of liquers like Aki, southen comfort, difference of ingredients of producing a scotch and an irish? Whats its charcter? All liquers are good to use to create dishes which 90% has not been used. Often seen, Grand marnier, Porto(aka port wine), sherry, brandy and cointreau. Others, no one have took them, seen them nor tasted them. This is my excuse for drinking.

I dont know if a person is trying to make up stories or she have offended someone els for her prank calls. I dont care anyway.. But dont make conclusions by urself. Find out who made the calls, arrest him and f me if i am the one who masterminds these shit. I am sorry to say that i never dies but only play till the end and have never lost once. I wont be stupid enough to get bitten by a mad dog who bites whoever that comes past her path. So u like calamari and lanjiao this way huh? alright.. when you want it again? order and pay, order chit comes, i do and hope that you would like it more.

I didnt like having a foul more than a friend but looks like that things are to be done this way. So be it. The note i got someone to pass it to u was just to befriend. but too bad. You would not accept and I would play TILL THE END.